


feels like we only go backwards

by 400typesof_aloevera



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Anakin Skywalker Redemption, Canon Divergence - Battle of Mustafar, Did I Mention Angst?, Force-Sensitive Padmé Amidala, Hurt/Comfort, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, no beta we die like B1 Battle Droids, not the best plan but they are trying their best!, obi-wan and padme essentially kidnap anakin and hope he'll be good again, she doesnt know it at first though, the angst is strong here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27362467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/400typesof_aloevera/pseuds/400typesof_aloevera
Summary: The battle on Mustafar takes a very different turn when Obi-Wan disregards orders and saves Anakin’s life after the duel at Mustafar. Now him, Padme, and a very resistant Anakin are on the run from new Galactic Empire, along with whats left of the Jedi, who want Anakin to face justice. Anakin struggles with the light and dark inside him, while Obi-Wan and Padme try to reconcile with what he's done.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala & Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala & Obi-Wan Kenobi
Comments: 9
Kudos: 46





	feels like we only go backwards

**Author's Note:**

> I watched revenge of the sith last night and decided to write a gay tragedy. Honestly im writing this out of self indulgence.

He couldn’t walk away from him. Anakin screamed profanities, he screamed hate and vile words. Obi-Wan looked into his eyes and couldn’t see a glimpse of who Anakin once was. 

Through the force, all he felt was darkness. This wasn’t really Anakin anymore, and it hurt. Their Force bond was shattered.

It fractured his soul into millions of pieces. 

Anakin struggles to pull himself up the hill, to reach his lightsaber. Obi-Wan grabs it, just to be safe. Guilt turns in his stomach as his eyes meet with the Sith.

This was the part where he was supposed to finish the job. Kill him. He was repulsed when Master Yoda brought up the idea, willing to go through with it during their fight, and now that the battle was all but won, he hesitated.

Anakin glares at him. “Do it already. Or are you going to leave me to suffer?” His voice drips with malice.

A tear falls down his face. Anakin and him, they weren’t just master and student. They weren’t just close friends. He loved him, damn it, he still did. Every decision seemed wrong here.

And how did he not notice earlier? How obvious it was that he struggled with the dark side. 

He is frozen. Attachment is what led Anakin down this path. Saving this man, this  _ monster _ really, it would be attachment. It’s not the Jedi way.

But attachment could have helped Anakin too. If only Obi-Wan had noticed. He screams at himself for  _ not noticing. _

Anakin’s mechanical hand loses its grip on the black sand, and he slides down closer to the lava. So close, his clothes are set alight. Before he knows it Obi-Wan has jumped down and pats out the flames. It’s second nature, saving him. To kill him goes against everything.

And so he loops his arms under Anakin’s shoulders, lifting him away from the lava. He trudges back up the hill, going as fast as he could without tripping. The ground is unstable.

“What the hell are you doing?!” He protests, feebly attempting to free himself. Anakin hurls insults at him most of the way up, until he words slow and slur and he goes quiet. Obi-Wan moves faster.

On the landing platform there’s Padme. She’s sitting up, and he lets out a sigh of relief. He wouldn’t know what to do if she was dead. She notices he’s back, who he’s carrying, and shakily stands up.

“Obi- is that Anakin? What happened-”

“Yes.” He replies breathlessly. “Can you fly the ship?”

She nods. “Where can we go?” There’s an understanding in her voice. Not killing Anakin, after all he’s done, the Jedi might as well brand him a traitor too.

“There’s an asteroid belt on the edges of this star system.”

Padme helps him carry Anakin on board, Anakin, whose eyes are dull and far away, who takes rasping breaths that make Obi-Wan cringe. The only indication he’s still alive is the grip his mechanical hand has on Obi-Wan’s arm. 

Padme gets Threepio while he sets Anakin on the cot. Pain stabs at his heart as he looks at his face. It’s so lifeless already and  _ please,  _ he can’t die. Jedi code and everything else be damned.

She returns after a few minutes, sitting down on the floor with him. “I set the ship to autopilot.” Padme squeezes his hand, saying her next words much quieter. “I’m glad you didn’t kill him.”

“They’ll consider this treason.” He looks her in the eyes. “It’s not too late for you to leave.”

The look in Padme’s eyes is fierce, yet her voice is muted. “You know I won’t. Anakin is my friend too. We’re the only people who will understand why we’re doing this.”

He nods, even if the word friend doesn’t feel like it’s enough to describe him and Anakin.

He didn’t mean to hurt him like this. Regret tears at him and that's  _ not the Jedi way,  _ damn the Jedi way. 

Padme sighs. “I know you didn’t mean it. I don’t think I can forgive what you’ve done to him, but I understand.”

“I failed him.”  _ He was weak.  _ Obi-Wan wasn’t even sure how he had managed to bring Anakin here, when every part of him wanted to collapse in the ash and black sand alongside his former friend. 

Padme is silent. 

Later she says that she’s going to bed and he should too, as well as take a shower, he looks awful.

He’s too exhausted to bother with a shower, collapsing on a chair across from Anakin. It’s cold and rigid, and he pulls his singed cloak over himself. Sleep comes easy, peaceful dreams do not.

**Author's Note:**

> pls leave comments and kudos, they make my heart go uwu and water my crops


End file.
